half way.

We are halfway through the school year. 

In a few hours, I will pick up my 3 oldest from elementary school and we will start christmas break. 
I thought I would worry every day that Reese was at school - but I didn't. I thought she would need so many accommodations to be with her friends, but she doesn't.  I thought my days would be filled with emails explaining things to teachers, but they aren't. 

Everything is so wonderful. I went to parties this morning, but per the usual, only R really wanted to take as many pics as I wanted to ;)

I love their poses and their giggles. I love watching the kids in the class interact w my girls. I love seeing Reese's friends come over and hug her or rub her back when she got sad that I was leaving. I love it all. 

We are about one more month away from our next MRI, in January. I think I mentioned before that we aren't going to stop chemo after a year, but ride it out for a little bit longer - since her side effects are nil. So we will hit a year on this chemo in the next few weeks and I can't believe how time has flown. 

One day last week, the school called me because Reese was acting tired and apparently she said her head hurt. I ran up to the school, wanting to throw up the entire drive. I get there, she hops into the car and shrugs her shoulders when I ask about "what hurts?" I ask her about her head? nope. She just sort of smiles as if she just wanted to spend the day with me. No nap, no complaining, nothing all afternoon - except "I have some boogers". While she did get to come home early and hang out with me, it made me remember that we are not, in fact, normal. Other kids go home because they don't feel good and their moms don't cry and want to throw up on the drive there. Just me. Other moms take their kids home and put them into bed and hope they don't have to run to the doc, but I do neuro checks and make her squeeze my hand w bad arm. 

When everything is going great, the rug that can be pulled is so very large. It is easy to forget it is there, but just a smidgen of movement and I feel like falling.

We are filling the break with the zoo, aidan's 9th (!!!) birthday, playing outside in potential 70 degree weather. We are going to bake and do crafts and wait for santa to come. So much more going on than worrying. Hundreds more smiles than tears.